Leadership Isn’t a Spreadsheet (And Being an Asshole Is a Terrible Business Strategy)

Leadership often gets reduced to spreadsheets, quarterly targets, and org charts that look like subway maps no one understands. But a growing body of evidence from private equity, academia, and real-world companies suggests something radical:

If you stop being an asshole — and actually treat people like humans — your business performs better.

Not “better vibes.”
Better returns.

This isn’t soft, touchy-feely nonsense. It’s a measurable, repeatable strategy that improves retention, productivity, valuation, and long-term stability. And no, your employees can’t be tricked into believing you care. They can smell performative empathy from three floors away.

Plot Twist: Private Equity Accidentally Discovers Empathy

Take KKR — a firm historically known for being extremely good at extracting value and extremely bad at being confused with a therapy group.

In a 2024 Axios article, KKR revealed something unexpected:
their best-performing CEOs shared one trait.

Empathy.

Not intimidation.
Not “hard-driving leadership.”
Not inspirational LinkedIn posts written by comms teams.

Actual empathy.

Axios summarized it bluntly: private equity’s top returns may be tied to CEO empathy.

Which is hilarious, if you think about it. The industry most associated with cost-cutting and financial engineering accidentally proved that listening to people makes more money.

KKR didn’t shrug and move on. They built a human-capital center to study leadership behaviors that correlate with long-term value creation. Translation: even private equity now has data proving that jerks underperform.

Ownership Changes Behavior (Shocking, I Know)

KKR also realized empathy alone isn’t enough. You can’t just say “we’re a family” and expect results — especially if the only people with equity live in corner offices.

Aside:

If a company says “we’re a family here,” run away — don’t walk.
Families don’t fire you for missing a quarter, guilt you into unpaid overtime, or ask you to “sacrifice” while executives cash bonuses.
Healthy companies don’t need the family line — they have fairness, clarity, and ownership.

Through their nonprofit Ownership Works, KKR pushed for broad-based employee ownership. Real equity. Not pizza parties. Not “we’ll look into bonuses next year.” Actual skin in the game.

And then something wild happened.

Case Study: C.H.I. Overhead Doors

Before KKR:

• High turnover
• Low morale
• Distrust everywhere
• Employees delaying deliveries out of spite (never a great KPI)

After everyone became an owner:

• Alignment replaced resentment
• Productivity jumped
• Culture flipped
• Financial performance exploded

When KKR sold the company in 2022, the business returned 10× its equity.

Employees — many of them hourly workers — walked away with payouts ranging from $20,000 to over $800,000.

Some paid off mortgages.
Some sent kids to college.
Some changed their entire financial trajectory.

Funny how people suddenly care more when leadership actually shares the upside.

Important Note: Employees Know When You’re Faking It

Here’s the part most leaders miss.

Ownership works only about 60% of the time.

Why not 100%?

Because ownership fails when the CEO is still an asshole.

Axios reported that shared ownership only delivered results when paired with empathetic leadership. When leaders were cold, dismissive, ego-driven, or transactional, the program fizzled.

You can’t hand out equity with one hand and disrespect people with the other.

Employees aren’t stupid.
They know when “we care” is a slogan instead of a value.
They know when empathy is a quarterly initiative instead of a daily behavior.

Fake empathy is worse than none at all.

Empathy Isn’t Soft — It’s a Trainable Skill (Even for Stubborn Executives)

A common excuse goes like this:

“I’m just not wired that way.”

Cool story. The data says otherwise.

KKR partnered with empathy researchers (including Stanford experts) who literally quantified empathy and correlated it with performance outcomes.

Then they trained it.

How?

• Executives worked frontline shifts
• Opened bank accounts with zero balances
• Experienced financial stress simulations
• Shadowed hourly workers
• Lived the reality instead of PowerPoint summaries

Empathy isn’t a personality trait.
It’s a muscle.
And most leaders have simply never exercised it.

The Math Is Simple: Being an Asshole Is Expensive

Companies with broad-based employee ownership:

• Sell at higher EBITDA multiples
• Experience lower turnover
• See fewer non-financial violations
• Innovate faster
• Integrate more smoothly post-acquisition

Why?

Because when people have ownership and feel respected, they protect the business like it’s theirs.

Because it is theirs.

Meanwhile, asshole leadership destroys:

• Trust
• Retention
• Innovation
• Reputation
• Valuation

The cost isn’t theoretical.
It shows up on the balance sheet.

The Leadership Playbook (Shockingly Simple)

1. Stop performative empathy
   If you don’t actually care, don’t pretend. Employees know.

2. Listen more than you talk
   Especially to people who don’t report to you.

3. Share real ownership
   Not perks. Not slogans. Equity.

4. Spend time on the front lines
   You can’t lead a world you’ve never seen.

5. Treat people with dignity — always
   This alone puts you ahead of most leaders.

Final Thought: “Don’t Be an Asshole” Is a Growth Strategy

Empathy isn’t a weakness.
Ownership isn’t charity.
Respect isn’t optional.

They’re all competitive advantages.

The data is clear:
Leaders who aren’t assholes build better companies.

Better culture.
Better performance.
Better exits.

So if you want stronger results, higher valuations, and teams that actually give a damn — start here:

Be real.
Share the upside.
And for the love of EBITDA…

Don’t be an asshole.

Photo by Craig Manners on Unsplash